Jason C. Jean talks: Internet trolls and what to do

Tags

bisexual, comments reviews, crimes, gays, hate, hatred, internet, lesbian, life coach, news agency, transgender, troll, trolls

Not a super fan, but I have to give two thumbs up to the Huffington Post and it’s founders Arianna Huffington, Kenneth Lerer, Andrew Breitbart and Jonah Peretti for taking a step in the right direction but more still needs to be done against these horrible internet “trolls.”

We read daily the hate on the internet written in the comments area of any story, even a heartfelt story of courage or sadness, there is someone out there waiting to pounce and spread their negativity.  I say they haven’t done enough because; frankly people are taking the “freedom of expression” a bit far.

I know I preach, they are just words and they are, but until a professional coach like myself is able to build these individuals self-esteem to a level that these horrible words bounce off them, these words cut deep. I have read so many comments on different news agencies sites it’s mind boggling and you should take a second to do the same and you will understand what I am talking about.

I think the Huff needs to go a step further and just start deleting negative comments all together. I know, I know… Our first amendment rights, well you can still practice your first amendment rights, but we will monitor if you are being a total douche or not! I have no problem people writing negative things about me, but there is a line that you cross and people know when they are crossing it, but behind a fake name and computer screen they could care less.

I remember reading an article about “Noel Edmonds” who came face to face with his internet troll that made a Facebook page called “Somebody please kill Noel Edmonds”. During the meeting Noel and the troll shook hands and quickly realized it was a drunken prank gone way too far, but instead of calling the police, he dealt with it personally. It’s a happy ending, but at some point people have to be accountable for their actions and 21-year-old student Liam Stacey was and was sentenced to 56 days in jail for his racist comment he made on twitter.

A line needs drawn and though we all love our first amendment, don’t abuse it and if you feel the need to leave a negative comment, make it a quality constructive comment.

We can beat this epidemic, we really can! I know right, something that can actually be beat… I say it can be beat because these negative comments can be deleted. They will repost and we can just keep deleting them. We will never win the battle over people just being mean, so get over that, but sometimes we have to live with winning a battle and not the entire war.

Cheers
Jason Jean
Professional LC 2th LS

References:

http://www.cnn.com/2013/08/22/tech/web/huffington-post-anonymous-comments/index.html?hpt=hp_t2

http://www.theguardian.com/media/2012/apr/11/noel-edmonds-facebook-troll

Jason C. Jean: It’s okay to like the closet!

Tags

bisexual, closeet, gay, government, lesbian, life coach, russia, russian, transgender, Vladimir putin

Why all of a sudden does it seem as if daily, someone is coming out about their sexuality? I feel this is the problem, on why it’s tough for kids to come out. Most don’t live in Hollywood and in most areas of the country there are pockets of people who are narrow minded and won’t agree with you new found freedom.

Frankly the problem lies in the fact that kids feel they have to talk about their sexuality. I tell the kids or adults for that matter, you don’t have to do anything. If you feel the need to open up to the world, more power to you. If not, don’t.

It’s like Wentworth Miller addressing his invitation to the St. Petersburg International Film Festival and declining the offer because he opened up about his sexuality and was quoted saying “I’m deeply troubled by the current attitude toward and treatment of gay men and women by the Russian Government.”

I think it’s great that Miller felt strong enough not to attend and take a stand, but jumping on the “I’m gay” bandwagon is watering down what really is the issue and the issue is acceptance and it doesn’t take announcing your gay to be accepted. My gay friends, I know they are gay and never had to ask if they were gay. They never told me they were gay and I never asked because frankly I don’t care if they are gay or not. I don’t care what shoes they wear or shorts or how they wear their hair etc. I’m just their friend because I enjoy their company! On the flip side, they have never said, oh you are straight.

There is just too much pressure on kids or individuals to come out… Stop the pressure, when the time is right it will happen and if you never actually feel the need to talk about it, because it’s really not that big a deal then don’t! I’m a huge advocate of open communication, but only when you are ready.

I hope people pass this on, because it’s the kids or individuals that are sitting there overwhelmed with emotions on who they want to be and they SUPPORT, not criticism.

Cheers,

Jason Jean
Professional LC 2the LS

Jason Jean: Now this is news!

Tags

ban, bible, bisexual, catholics, christian, church, gay, god, Governor Chris Christie, hate crime, lesbian, New Jersey Legislature, therapist, transgender

It’s a complete shame that there are therapists out there that are practicing this principle. I’ve often wondered why? Is it their strict believe of the bible, are they scared of the repercussions that society may do to the child or is it something within the therapist own personal desire or jealousy that they want to be open with their own sexuality.

Personally, I always explain to my clients that the steps you are taking to open up about your sexuality are going to be tough. There will be plenty of opinions thrust upon you, from people you don’t know. For me it’s about building their confidence within themselves that helps, no matter what the age or gender deal with their inner demons and successfully opening up about their sexuality.

This isn’t just about being gay, I coach just as many about their different fetishes also, society has beat us up for so long regarding what is considered normal that we automatically feel bad about ourselves for wanting to be ourselves. As long as you aren’t breaking a law, be yourself.

I have to give Governor Christie and the New Jersey Legislature two thumbs up for signing the bill. Christie comes right out and says, “He believes you are born gay and that homosexuality is not a sin” This is totally against his Catholic believes and again, two thumbs up to all involved for making this happen.

As the old traditional theories die off, simply because the people behind them die off, we will more open as a society. Don’t get me wrong, there will be pockets of radicals that have been nurtured into their strong believes again specific portions of society and those small pockets will be just that, small pockets.

I say congratulations to the many for believing and for the few, I say it’s okay to have your opinions.

Cheers

Jason C. Jean
Professional LC 2th LS

Jason C Jean: Alternative Lifestyle Coach
Governor Christie and New Jersey Legislature sign gay conversation ban against therapist

Jason Jean: Is it really that big of a deal?

Tags

all star wrestling, bisexual, closet, coach, coming out, darren young, family, friends, gay, john cena, lesbian, life coach, raven, raven symone, transgender, wrestling, wwe

As Darren Young of the WWE announce on TMZ that he is gay, I had to sit back and wonder why. Why is coming out such a big deal. Why do we make it such a big deal, really think about it!

The first thing everyone wants to know is, what will the guys in the locker room think and how will they react. I’ve been in the alternative lifestyle for over two decades and not once have I ever heard a gay man talk about going into a locker room at a gym, etc and thought about hitting on a str8 guy, but that’s the immaturity of a straight person’s mentality of thinking. “Oh my gosh, you are gay, you want to have sex with me” Don’t get me wrong, my gay friends aren’t shy to say if they think a guy is hot or not, but that is no different than my str8 buddies saying, that girl is hot or they want to have sex with her as she walks by.

We have allowed the media to draw so much attention to the subject that if the media would just stop and allow people to be people and not make it breaking news, more people would probably come out and no one would notice, except their small circle around them.

As a society we tend to forget things very fast and as long as the media doesn’t keep giving it front page coverage, we has a society as a whole would just shrug our shoulders at it.
People miss the point on coming out. You only draw attention to the situation and ultimately, no matter who or what is backing you for your courage to take that step, you will have haters. You can be a celebrity like Raven-Symone or some construction worker from Texas; they each will have to deal with different consequence on coming out. Certainly, a person coming out in California will be handled differently than someone in the state of Texas.

We are all just people and we all are entitled to our opinion, so don’t give the person a reason to voice their opinion. I’ve always admired the people who say “my sexuality isn’t the topic here” because it truly isn’t, so don’t allow it to be.

But I do love John Cena’s answers when he found out that Darren Young announced he was openly gay.

http://www.tmz.com/videos/0_ax2y2jqd

Cheers

Jason C. Jean
Professional LC 2th LS
http://www.jasoncjean.com

Jason C Jean: Is male open bisexuality on the rise?

Tags

bisexual, couples, gay, husband, male, open, open relationships, relationship, secrets, wife

Is male bisexuality the new thing?

Remember years ago, the media made a big deal about executive women who said they were bisexual? I’ve seen a rise recently in couple sessions, where the male has opened up to his wife that he either wanted to try a bisexual encounter or had a secret relationship, at some point in their life. I focus so much on communication among couples that I’m glad when having something so important in a relationship is able to be talked about openly and the couple can grow from that strength.

Alternative lifestyle sites have slowly been updating their site to accommodate the bisexual side of males, and one would have to wonder if specific sites like these are making the change, there must be a change to be made.

There have been some greats like, Marlon Brando or Billie Joe Armstrong who have voiced their openness to their bisexuality and I think it’s those trailblazers that have allowed the “so called” average male to be open about their sexuality. Don’t get me wrong, it seems that in certain pockets this is okay, but this is in most cases just as difficult as coming out as being gay. I always communicate with my clients to talk opening up about this, take it slow opening up to friends and make sure to open up to those who won’t judge you or tell your secret prematurely.

This is a subject I think we will be hearing a lot more about.

Cheers

Jason C Jean
Professional LC 2th LS

Ref: http://www.buzzfeed.com/louispeitzman/celebrities-you-might-not-know-are-bisexual

Jason Jean: Do gay people hate?

Tags

bisexual, crime, dad, daughter, family, gay, hate, lesbian, love, transgender

Todays blog comes from my daughter. Dad, she says, do people who are gay want to beat up all the homophobic people in the world that call them names?

I said, you know KJ, the individuals who I coach regarding their lifestyle have never wished any harm on the people who have treated them wrong. They actually feel sorry for those people. She asked, why they would feel sorry for people who are mean to them, she asked.

I said, because somewhere in their life, someone was mean to them and the circle just keeps going round and round or they aren’t strong enough as a person to stand up for how they feel about something and just follow the crowd and how the crowd is reacting.

KJ says, well dad, who cares if someone is gay or straight, as long as they are happy in life!

She’s pretty smart for thirteen…

I have to agree but had to add, that though I agree, we have to allow people who don’t agree to voice their opinions and we just have to ignore them if we feel they are negative.

The point: Opinions start at an early age, so if we really want to make a difference, stop trying to teach the old dog new tricks, teach the young dog new tricks, they learn faster!

Cheers

Jason C. Jean
Professional LC 2th LS

Jason Jean: The madness will never change

Tags

bisexual, Dwayne Jones, gay, hate crimes, Jamaica, lesbian, life coach, murder, transgender

Jason Jean: The madness will never change

It’s unfortunate crime will never go away and being surrounded by unpredictable violence daily, either witnessing it or watching the news, makes us almost desensitized to horrific situations people go through. Ultimately, Dwayne Jones didn’t deserve this! No one ever deserves something so heinous!

Dwayne took the steps to be himself and what an incredible person he must have been to do that but still, he never deserved the brutal attach. I’ve said for decades, name calling is just name calling and Dwayne dealt with that and still was going to be who he wanted to be and was proud of that.

We have had similar instances of violence here on our own American soil and we have to try and figure out why, (we know why), (ignorance). In another blog I spoke of the irrelevance of trying to get the haters to no hate. I look at haters like substance abusers, when they are ready to stop hating they will. When alcoholics are ready to stop drinking they will, not a moment sooner!

This is the exact reason I’ve focused for so many years, helping people in the alternative lifestyle. You can truly make a difference. What the world can take out of this unfortunate situation is Dwayne Jones wanted to be himself and was proud of who he was! Be proud first…

Please take the time to share if you know someone that needs that helping hand.

Cheers to Dwayne

Jason Jean
Professional LC 2th LS
http://www.jasoncjean.com

Jason Jean: How to deal with bullies

Tags

bisexual, boss, bullies, co-worker, empowered, family, fighting, fights, gay, lesbian, life, life coach, mother-in-law, self-esteem, teacher, teenager, transgender

For two decades I have been preaching to the choir that we are handling bullies all wrong. We are trying to take the bully out of the bully. It just isn’t going to work! A person that is nurtured into who they are, because of their surrounding has no will or reason to change their feelings because they were told to or because they went to a few classes on how to be nicer, again because they were made to.

I know, personally I have never met anyone that said; hey I’m a shitty person so I’m going to go to anger management classes. Any of you, know anyone?  Yeah, didn’t think so. Sure we all know of people who have had domestic disputes and were required to go through a court order, but just because, nope I’m blank…

For decades, I’ve taught my clients or social friends, that how you deal with a bully is to ignore them. Don’t let their words bother you. I know I’ve said this not only in my motivational books, speeches etc, but it’s true. It is the only way you beat a bully is to ignore them and the only way to ignore them is to have a great self-esteem about yourself. See we shouldn’t be sending bullies to be fixed; we need to fix the individuals who don’t love themselves. Help them! Help them to understand it’s okay to be who they are!

My success rate with friends and clients using this method is beyond mind blowing! Not only do you accomplish the most important thing, building the self-esteem of someone who needs it, but you are teaching these individuals to be realist in life. You are teaching them that, the world is full of bullies, they could be a teenage boy or girl, a teacher, co-worker, boss, mother-in-law… bullies are all around us, hell I’m not worried about a zombie apocalypse, I’m worried that as a society we become even meaner! We have become so disconnect with each other because of technology, our social skills totally suck.
So next time, you see someone being bullied, stand up to the bully, pull the person out of the situation but most important, if you are the one being bullied, BLOW IT OFF! Look yourself in the mirror and realize that you are seeing someone great, no matter what is written on the internet that is negative, no matter what a bully is saying about you, regardless of the situation, tell yourself you are above all that!

Yes, I know it’s easier said than done, but try it! You will feel so empowered, and yes you will have lows and you will be able to take on those lows with new strength, because before those lows really weighed you down, but now you can roll with the lows and build off these experiences to successfully deal with the next low. Life is full of highs and lows, that will never change, what can change is how we deal with it.

Cheers,

Jason Jean
Professional LC 2th LS

Jason Jean: Are they just words?

Tags

bisexual, coming out, dyke, fag, gay, GLBT, hate, lesbian, life coach, lifestyle, love, queer, self-esteem, transgender, words

A bunch of us were out (all close friends, husbands and wives and partners) and one of our dear friends and his partner were with the group. Now to set the scene, it was at a restaurant and we were all enjoying dinner and as we were discussing a certain remodeling T.V. show and its latest episode, our dear friend called the host a closet fag… Our mouths dropped to the floor because we have been so conditioned over time to not use that word because it’s offensive.

One of the wives turned to (Phil-not his real name) and said, Phil, you shouldn’t use that word and you are gay, it’s offensive. Phil turns to (jill-not her real name). Jill, I’m gay but I’m no fag. I’m proud to be gay,  I don’t not portray myself as being gay, I’m just me.

Phil went on to say, it’s just a word, we are becoming too sensitive to words. If you are the word that someone calls you than you need to look deep within yourself and change, if you aren’t that word then why let it bother you. I’ve been called names my entire life and if I would have cried everytime someone made fun of me, I would have drained my body dry of its water.  (I just let him go on that one)

Here is the question, are words just words? As of late, we’ve had the Paula Deen issue, the eagles Riley Cooper and now TYGA saying “gay ass stuff.” Should we allow these words to affect us or should we just go about our day?

For over two decades I’ve supported the GLBT lifestyle from a Str8 guys point of view and I’ve coached many teenagers and couples through their times of coming out and families for that matter. In all my years, I’ve tried to explain words hurt so be careful of what you say, but at the end of the day, they are just words and no matter what we do as a society to try and get people to not use those words, it just isn’t going to happen. That’s the realist side of me. I think as generations die off and thought process change with time. Those words are used less, but will NEVER GO AWAY. We are all individuals and will say and do what we want in the long run.

We all coach differently, but what has been successful for me and my coaching methods, is about building self-esteem! If your self-esteem is low, those words hurt and leave lasting scares, if you truly are happy and love yourself and circle yourself with love, those words bounce right off of you and you actually feel sorry for the people who use them, because they themselves hate themselves deep inside.

So are they just words?

Cheers

Jason Jean
http://www.jasoncjean.com
Professional LC 2th LS

Jason Jean: What is normal?

Tags

alternative, bisexual, family, friends, gay, heterosexual, hypocrites, lesbian, life coach, normal, society, transgender

Have you ever taken the time to actually read the definition of Alternative Lifestyle on Wiki? If not take a second and click the link and read it. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alternative_lifestyle

With over two decades of working with or supporting alternative lifestyles and it’s just not the alternative lifestyle you may be thinking. Alternative seems to be anything that wouldn’t be considered within the norm of society, but who is making the norm the norm? Who decides if someone wants to wear rain boots on a sunny day is stupid? Who decides if someone likes the same sex they are not normal? Maybe they are normal and heterosexuals are not normal?

We can ask these same questions regarding anything in life. Who decides what words are offensive and what aren’t? Over the years when you put yourself out there, even like me, you leave yourself open to others opinions (OPINIONS); you see the emphasis on opinions! I use to think and worked so hard to have everyone like me and it took years and years to finally understand that there is not one person on earth, in heaven or hell or anywhere in this solar system that is 100% loved or liked by everyone, NOT ONE!

If you live by this motto, you will be able handle your alternative lifestyle with pride, no matter the age, lifestyle or what it might be that may be different than what others consider normal. I say this because some live a lifestyle for shock for attention and some live it because that is the lifestyle they truly want to live. Regardless of what category you fall into, you need to realize you will have others that will have an OPINION on the lifestyle you are living.

We all are hypocrites, everyone single person breathing this millisecond. We have all at some point done something we shouldn’t have, said something we shouldn’t have, acted in a way that we shouldn’t have. The point is no one is perfect and no one should be put on a pedestal to be perfect. Just be yourself, if you are a happy go lucky person, keep being happy and let the people who don’t like happy people not bother you. If you like being miserable, stay being miserable that’s totally up to you. If you don’t like being miserable, then take the steps to change.

If you are in an alternative lifestyle, be proud to be yourself, but be prepared for haters and deal with it. But never, be ashamed of who you are! You need to circle yourself with the ones who love you and that isn’t necessarily always going to be family. Family and friends come and go and never believe that family will always be there for you. Often in my coaching sessions its family who usually is causing the most pain and it’s that pain you need to rid yourself of. I will never have as close of a friend than ME!

In closing, remember everyone is entitled to an opinion, we would hope they might keep their negative opinions to themselves, but don’t count on that. So when you are dealing with negativity, deal with it. It’s not going away anytime soon. Believe in yourself and what you stand for and stay strong!

Cheers,

Jason Jean
Professional LC 2 the LS